From the Gies again:
after [extreme unction] the Church considers a man as good as dead. A sick man who recovers after receiving it must fast perpetually, go barefoot, and never again have intercourse with his wife. In some places he cannot even amend his will.
A dying man in particular fear of hell, because he is pious or guilty, may express his penitence by having himself laid on the ground on a hair cloth sprinkled with ashes. Louis IX, given up by the doctors, adopted this practice and discoursed so eloquently on the insubstantiality of this world's wealth and power that he drew tears from his audience - and then recovered to go on a Crusade. Prince Henry of England, son of Henry II, after tying a rope around his neck and having himself dragged to his bed of ashes, where gravestones were placed at his head and feet, also recovered.
Unctuous Convalescent
Gear: death certificate, ashes, oil (enough to light four torches or grease up four bodies to squeeze through a narrow corridor), consecrated obol
Dread Disease To Which You Nearly Did Succumb (by gp)
- Epilepsy (Bubonic). You return from the Sacred Disease with 1d4 true visions, 1d4 false visions, and 1d4 unpopped pustules. You are now immune, but others may not be so unlucky.
- Weltschmerz. You are immune to Charm-like effects, so long as they would be welcome.
- Parasitic Worms. You are always hungry. For better or worse, you can never be intoxicated; the lushes in your stomach will insist on consuming it all. A trained oracle and several drams of their favorite liquor will induce them to answer questions; the worms are famed equally as sages and liars.
- Kleptomania. Not traditionally life-threatening, but can be with a good club. The doctor who administered it is looking to give you a second dose. Roll on appropriate table for something else you got from her.
- Ascesis. If you Carouse, (literal) psychic demons will torment you for 1d6 days. They cannot deal damage to you, but they can frustrate your interests in any other way.
- Lovesickness. Recovery involved, beyond the remedies below, finding a new occupant for your pedestal. You didn't choose more wisely. Fall back into the jaws of death if they ever confirm their disinterest.
Means of Recovery (by hp)
- You didn't. You did, in fact, die, and are only holding on out of sheer orneriness. Loss of hp can put an end to your bodily motions, but no effect that results in death by other means will slow you down.
- Heterotopic Cardiac Transplant. Two souls now beat in your breast. You speak the language of the animal from whom the extra heart was taken, and earn the relatives of its immediate kin. Other consequences as appropriate.
- Miraculous Resurrection. Religious groupies cluster around you. Can be employed as below-rate hirelings, but may attract inquisitors, or turn angry when you don't live up to their (rarely explicitly stated) expectations.
- Clerical Error. Your funeral mass was so disappointing that you changed your mind and decided the whole dying thing wasn't worth it. Take damage from eloquent elegies.
- Gedankenexperiment. A comatose violinist is attached to you by 6ft of anastomatic tubing; if severed, succumb to death. If shaken to brief wakefulness and equipped with violin worth at least 1kgp, can bring any creature to tears with beautiful music.
- Narcotic Catholicon. Doses of Doctor Zamenaius' Cure-All have made you all better! For about a week, until you get more,more, more.
Very nice indeed, going on the list for sure
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